Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Pressing National Matters

This is a brief tangent from my usual posts. There's been a lot of debate recently concerning the rights of Americans and their ability to take their family members off life support, assuming the patient's condition has no chance of improvement. Whether it's a feeding tube or a respirator, these issues need careful discussion, or, as is custom in America, a non-scientific poll in which we will then use to declare a moral victor. So, the question you've all been knocking around in your heads for the last couple of weeks...

Should President Bush's feeding tube be removed?


I leave the floor to you. And, please, let's keep the seriousness to a minimum.*



*Seriously.

42 Comments:

At 12:39 AM, Blogger phucker said...

Is that the tube which he uses to make 'nuculear' bombs using parts ordered over the 'Internets'?

 
At 12:42 AM, Blogger uygugy said...

marky mark needs his feeding tube removed

www.ChrisIsOmniscient.blogspot.com

 
At 1:27 AM, Blogger okstatendn said...

Feeding tube removal is only warranted when the patient exhibits the Schiavo overbite. The Bush stare, while a convincing indicator of a PSV, is completely different.

 
At 2:17 AM, Blogger The Cure said...

You could try but I am pretty sure he would pass a law banning it. Then the next day he would turn around and pass a law to remove Hilary's feeding tube.

I hate politicians, this thing is just futher proof that they are a bunch of corrupt bastards. What happen to a real leader?

 
At 2:57 AM, Blogger Dave said...

Don't you mean President Cheney? Isn't he a robot? How does Robot President Cheney eat anyways?

 
At 3:10 AM, Blogger Andy said...

I've seen Dogma.

Even if I hadn't, my reply would have been the same.

 
At 3:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bush has a feeding tube? Oh my dark lord Satan! If I knew that I wouldn't have voted for him!

 
At 6:43 AM, Blogger Rohit said...

His feeding tube as well as his breeding tube should be removed...

 
At 8:06 AM, Blogger Mike said...

He could use a brain tube!

 
At 8:10 AM, Blogger 123-I-Love-You said...

No, it shouldn't be removed. Presidential feeding tubes can provide excellent entertainment.

After all, we all remember what Clinton did with his "feeding tube" during the Lewinsky fiasco.

 
At 10:16 AM, Blogger Scribe Called Steff said...

Bush needs to be put into a dark, dark hole surrounded by mujahadeen who want to flog his skinny Texan ass relentlessly.

The White House should demand an IQ prerequisite from its leaders, even when they're token pretty boy leaders standing in for a dried-out old hack like Cheney.

At least give the bastard a spelling test.

[Besides, Bush's tube probably courses with Wild Turkey, judging by some of the stupid crap he says in public.]

Thank God I'm a Canadian.

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger Kim said...

If you remove it, how else will he eat his pretzels?

 
At 10:27 AM, Blogger ThatIsMeWhat said...

For three EZ payments of 3.99, you can have the peace of mind of keeping the republicans out of your life! The new and improved "advanced directive" is all that stands between you and nosy congresspersons. As for Bush's feeding tube i say "remove that sucker...twice!

 
At 11:12 AM, Blogger rwmonty said...

Feeding tube, nothin'... we should remove the umbilical cord connecting W to his father's political agenda.

 
At 11:24 AM, Blogger Mimi NY said...

The star-SPAAAAAAaaangled ba-nner...

I'm shocked Andy. Really. We should be preserving Bush as a rare specimen who has single-handedly managed to disprove the Darwinian theory of Natural Selection. The man's a living legend. I for one will rue the day when this noble creature passes on.

 
At 12:22 PM, Blogger Becky said...

I don't think his feeding tube can come out fast enough. Unfortunately, he would probably have to come back from 'vacationing at the ranch' (aka: snorting coke off of his wife's paperwork acquitting her of manslaughter in the back room of the White House)... and it would interfere with his book learnin'.

http://becksbloglog.blogspot.com/

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

I doubt that would even work. For some reason, I think removing his tube would only make him meaner and harder to get rid of.

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 2:44 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Oh, I forgot to mention that his lack of dying after we removed his tube would only strengthen the red staters and raise Mr. Bush's status and title to "second-coming of the Messiah". I think this should be avoided at all costs.

 
At 2:53 PM, Blogger Internet Street Philosopher said...

Naw, we just need to do some brain surgery on him....maybe has a tumor that's affecting his judgment.

 
At 3:52 PM, Blogger Shavonne said...

Wow! Is that all it would take to get Bush out of the White House?

The few, the proud, the 48 percent!

 
At 4:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why kill him,when you can choose NOT to vote for him? After all,it is he's second "round",somebody had to vote for him.That's the beauty of democracy :) I've read your post about NY terrorism alert(Well,@ least you didnt have to walk barefoot while boarding @ frankfurt to my NY flight,because your high heels where in metal,and a potencial weapon on board therefore retained...)and safety(the one you got shot)and it's quite a surprise. I've been recently to NY,and excepted it to be more dangerous,never once heard a shot.I'm from a small seaside city,in Portugal(next to Spain).And for me to state that NY is safe,no extra caution than the usual when travelling,believe me,I felt pretty safe.Where I live you can even leave your front door open.I stayed in NY about a month,than moved to Princeton to attend classes.Now that's a peaceful sight!Too much if you ask me.I was wondering if you could help me.My boyfriend is ending his internship here in Porto,graduated med university with the highest grade in his year,but he missed the exam(he's brother passed away) to access 'speciality course'( he's heading for plastic surgery).And he can only repeat this exam,next year.The thing is,in order to achieve some knowledge instead of taking the year off,we have in mind some internships "pro bono". Any hospital in Portugal will take him,however he is looking for further perspectives. You know the educational system in the USA,how do you think it's the best aproach? Send his CV directly to the Hospital Admn? Contact a med university? It would only be about 6 months,he already has a proposal in London. Please do contact me: Filipa_v@hotmail.com. Regarding the subject of your post,you should see "Mar Adentro",it's a spanish movie about euthanasia,it won the oscar for best foreign film this year. Once again,looking forward for you reply,and very grateful for your help. Filipa and Mario

 
At 4:54 PM, Blogger Vintage said...

Why kill him,when you can choose NOT to vote for him? After all,it is he's second "round",somebody had to vote for him.That's the beauty of democracy :) I've read your post about NY terrorism alert(Well,@ least you didnt have to walk barefoot while boarding @ frankfurt to my NY flight,because your high heels where in metal,and a potencial weapon on board therefore retained...)and safety(the one you got shot)and it's quite a surprise. I've been recently to NY,and excepted it to be more dangerous,never once heard a shot.I'm from a small seaside city,in Portugal(next to Spain).And for me to state that NY is safe,no extra caution than the usual when travelling,believe me,I felt pretty safe.Where I live you can even leave your front door open.I stayed in NY about a month,than moved to Princeton to attend classes.Now that's a peaceful sight!Too much if you ask me.I was wondering if you could help me.My boyfriend is ending his internship here in Porto,graduated med university with the highest grade in his year,but he missed the exam(he's brother passed away) to access 'speciality course'( he's heading for plastic surgery).And he can only repeat this exam,next year.The thing is,in order to achieve some knowledge instead of taking the year off,we have in mind some internships "pro bono". Any hospital in Portugal will take him,however he is looking for further perspectives. You know the educational system in the USA,how do you think it's the best aproach? Send his CV directly to the Hospital Admn? Contact a med university? It would only be about 6 months,he already has a proposal in London. Please do contact me: Filipa_v@hotmail.com. Regarding the subject of your post,you should see "Mar Adentro",it's a spanish movie about euthanasia,it won the oscar for best foreign film this year. Once again,looking forward for you reply,and very grateful for your help. Filipa and Mario

 
At 4:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why kill him,when you can choose NOT to vote for him? After all,it is he's second "round",somebody had to vote for him.That's the beauty of democracy :) I've read your post about NY terrorism alert(Well,@ least you didnt have to walk barefoot while boarding @ frankfurt to my NY flight,because your high heels where in metal,and a potencial weapon on board therefore retained...)and safety(the one you got shot)and it's quite a surprise. I've been recently to NY,and excepted it to be more dangerous,never once heard a shot.I'm from a small seaside city,in Portugal(next to Spain).And for me to state that NY is safe,no extra caution than the usual when travelling,believe me,I felt pretty safe.Where I live you can even leave your front door open.I stayed in NY about a month,than moved to Princeton to attend classes.Now that's a peaceful sight!Too much if you ask me.I was wondering if you could help me.My boyfriend is ending his internship here in Porto,graduated med university with the highest grade in his year,but he missed the exam(he's brother passed away) to access 'speciality course'( he's heading for plastic surgery).And he can only repeat this exam,next year.The thing is,in order to achieve some knowledge instead of taking the year off,we have in mind some internships "pro bono". Any hospital in Portugal will take him,however he is looking for further perspectives. You know the educational system in the USA,how do you think it's the best aproach? Send his CV directly to the Hospital Admn? Contact a med university? It would only be about 6 months,he already has a proposal in London. Please do contact me: Filipa_v@hotmail.com. Regarding the subject of your post,you should see "Mar Adentro",it's a spanish movie about euthanasia,it won the oscar for best foreign film this year. Once again,looking forward for you reply,and very grateful for your help. Filipa and Mario

 
At 7:45 PM, Blogger Andy said...

That's great.

Since I asked for little or no seriousness in this post, I reserve the right to read everyone's comments as if they were being spoken sarcastically. Makes it funnier.

But that's just me. I need help.

 
At 8:23 PM, Blogger winz said...

Hey seriously... I don't understand why everyone's so against Bush... To me, he's the best president ever....


NOT.

Just remove the freakin' thing already.

 
At 9:35 PM, Blogger Minlen said...

Don't remove the feeding tube but instead tie the other end to a rocket headed towards the sun.

http://thisbloghaschlamydia.blogspot.com , my blog if you want to take a look. However, compared to this one it deserves to have its feeding tube tied to a rocket headed towards the sun.

 
At 9:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

remove the tube and stuph it up his ***
maybe then his brain will work better

 
At 11:26 PM, Blogger VVM said...

aaah.... that explains a lot.

I knew the puppet master was behind all this...

So Bush is a woman in Florida! Got it.

Andy, you make me laugh.

 
At 1:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who took my tube? Him name is hopkin green tube. You took my tube. I will find my tube.

www.american-me.blogspot.com

 
At 12:36 PM, Blogger Lia said...

I heard today that Jeb Bush is trying to get Terri Schiavo made a ward of the state.

Just a fact to consider in this discussion.

 
At 3:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, yes we should. What a bloody brilliant idea.

 
At 3:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

YES, yes we should! What a bloody brilliant idea.

 
At 4:10 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

HELL YES WE SHOULD REMOVE IT..and cornhole the jackass shortly thereafter..just a thought..

 
At 3:15 PM, Blogger Mark said...

Procedure to remove feeding tube:

Step 1: Hire Specialist Feeding tube Remover. Recommend using Haggling Skill #256 to finalise price.

Haggling Skill #256
When you want to end your haggling session and accept the given offer, yell "Deal!," grabbing the person's hand almost violently and then shaking it.

Step 2: Make sure you distract any nearby policemen using the old "suspicous bag" ruse.

Step 3: Post a google ad relating to "Angry Fetus" so that any surveillance operators are distracted from watching their cameras.

Step 4: Prepare to order Mcdonald's Happy Meal and wait for news from your Specialist Feeding tube Remover. (Hey this maybe your lucky day)

Step 5a[Backup]: Arrange a meeting with President Bush and convince him to take the Subway to work so that he will succumb to Scientology and we may finally be free after a thousand years.

Step 5b[Backup]: Apply for a Bachelor's degree in Physics at the University of Physics in Physicsville; thereafter do a Master's in Physics, then a Phd, and after that dedicate your life to inventing a time machine. Invent the time machine after like 20 years of research. Go back in time, get Simon. Bring him to this time. Tell him your troubles, and watch him make ass grass!

PS: As you may have noticed, the backups take some time.

 
At 2:37 AM, Blogger Sharanjit said...

Feeding tube is fine, just remove the other end from his own arse.

 
At 3:32 PM, Blogger B Rye said...

Remove his feeding tube?.... hell yeah!... but I don’t think it will do much good, I’m sure if we removed his feeding tube he would not hesitate to steal another feeding tube from a baby.

 
At 8:46 PM, Blogger lovelygreensweater said...

Remove it? Nooooooooo! Inject ut with bleach. That my friends, is the key.

 
At 1:13 PM, Blogger Johnny Utah said...

Terri`s interests are not even a concern anymore, shes been hijacked by the very religious right, for thier own agenda, Terri is nothing more then a Pawn, in Political Football, Its beyond sad.

 
At 10:38 AM, Blogger dana said...

OMG, WTF? Bush is, like, the ULTIMATE prez ever! We need to change the laws back so that he can be prez for as many terms as he wants! Now THAT'D be great. He's ruling this place with justice and wisdom. BUSH 4 EVA.


In all seriousness... Pulling it or doing something more insidious with it would be better for this country (wait a minute, is Cheney any better? Something would have to be done about him too...) but think about it... it would make him a martyr and all the right wing Super Christians would try to Saint him... even though the Pope doesn't seem to care for his policies... but the Pope isn't looking so hot these days either...

oh, dear. I believe I will offend some people with this. damn.

 
At 2:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please do NOT remove Mr. Bush's feeding tube. I like it there so because it's sounds funny when he tries to talk.

 
At 1:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Middle Ages hit the intern community hard. It was a confusing time. Feudalism was bra common practice and lands changed hands often. Servants of one master could quickly become the servants of another. Interns underwear were without stability. The entire intern community lacked motivation. Because, why try to move ahead in the feudal career world of one lord when that lord's head schiesser could very well be on top of a pike by the end of week.

 

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