Friday, January 28, 2005

Sarcasm Wrapped In Sarcasm

Not a lot happened today. I did get to sit in on a meeting, which was pretty fascinating. The boardroom overlooked Central Park. Why did I put "overlook" in the past tense as if the boardroom no longer does overlook the park? The boardroom overlooks Central Park. Or perhaps it did move... I'll check into that and get back to you.

Julie gave me some things to edit. That was fun. Well, in a geeky editing kind of way. But, I am a geek, so it all works out.

On Monday, I'll take a walk over to the Daily Show studio (weather permitting) and get some shots of the outside. It's pretty spectacular. Well, in a this-studio-is-not-at-all-spectacular kind of way. What I'm saying is that it's not spectular. That's the joke I was trying to convey. I was being sarcastic.

Now, I'm using this sarcastic use of sarcasm to again get you to laugh. It's sarcastic on one level, but the whole sarcastic joke is wrapped up in a warm, sarcasm blanket.

And now, I'm using the explanation of the multiple leveled sarcastic joke to make you laugh yet again. By explaining my own failed jokes, it makes them seem more planned out or carefully devised, instead of what they really are. Which is retarded.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Chappelle's Show: Season 2

Today, I started on the second season of Chappelle's Show. This latest season also carries with it probably the most memorable characters of the entire series. Characters like Rick James, Wayne Brady, and Rick James.

Now, I could very easily go into a rant about how people have absolutely butchered the Rick James sketches by repeating the catch phrase, "I'm Rick James, bitch!" again and again. But why think up such a rant when such a rant already exists?

Maddox says it best, and you don't mess with the best...
You're Not Dave Chappelle, And You're Not Funny.

I think we'll end with that for today.

Monday, January 24, 2005

My First Sick Day

Apparently, the cold weather here in NY has gotten the best of me, and now I've got somewhat of a fever. So, I emailed Julie and asked her for the day off to recuperate. She, of course, said "Go to hell!" No, I kid. She was, as I expected, very sympathetic and told me to feel better.

Since I'm obviously not at work today, there's not much to go into about Comedy Central. Because I'm not there. So, instead, I'll just make something up.

Well, I arrived to work at around 10AM, wearing a leather jacket, a pair of Daisy Dukes and a striped scarf straight out of Harry Potter. "If only I was carrying my magic wand with me today," is what I would say if I didn't have my wand with me. But, thankfully, I did have it, so I never said that at all.

Using my gift of flight, I swooped in on the ninth floor. I do possess the gift of flight, but I do not, however, possess the gift of landing. So, I don't. Ever. I am never not flying. If you see me walking or running down a street or a hallway, you'll be surprised to know that I'm actually not walking or running at all. That's right. I'm flying. My feet are a mere centimeters off the ground, making it appear as if I'm walking or running, when it fact I'm just sort of floating there and moving my legs.

Anyway, I get into work, blah blah blah... you know, I thought this was going somewhere, but it's really not. So, how about you think of your own little adventure story involving me at Comedy Central. Here, let me give you a setting...

Green meadows... a butterscotch waterfall... birds singing...

Now... CREATE!

Friday, January 21, 2005

...Like I Own The Place

As an intern, I've learned early on that it's best to relax, make yourself at home, and wait for your supervisors to come to you. This inevitably gives the appearance that I am an office bigshot or that I "own the place."

Recently, a coworker -- wait, no. Co-worker implies that I also work, and, as this blog shows, it seems pretty obvious that I don't. Anyway, a person who also exists at Comedy Central asked me, "Andy, why do you walk around like you own the place?"

I was a little insulted. This person had seen me for over a week, and already he was mislabeling my walks. If I owned the place, my walk would take the form of a strut. It does not. My walk resembles more of a waltz, which could never imply owernship. Owners don't waltz, they strut. People who waltz don't own, they lease.

So, in a charismatic yet firm voice, I replied, "Sir, I walk around merely as if leasing this place! Now I'll say good day to you!" And that was that.

Don't strut, interns. Know your place.

Day 2 Of "The Spiffying"

Today was spent continuing to spiffy up the "intern dungeon," which is now the official room name, thanks to me... and also the realization that it is in fact a dungeon. Julie, my supervisor, gave me a few posters to hang up. Also, she gave me her collection of Mark Curry photos. That's right, comic sensation Mark Curry. I know, I was excited, too. Obviously, my mission was clear; I needed to create a Mark Curry gallery, a shrine, if you will. Comedians like Jerry Seinfeld and George Carlin seem to have success carelessly thrown at them because of their "humor," their "genius comedic skills," or their "ability to make someone, anyone at all, laugh." But not Mark Curry. Mark Curry will have no part of that. He would rather make it as a comedian without the crutches that past comedians have relied on. Things like talent and general likeability.

And now, the Mark Curry Gallery is the most visited gallery in this entire room.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Spiffying Up The Intern Dungeon

The room where I'm stationed is very bland and boring. There are a few South Park posters, and there's a Drawn Together poster, and there's one poster for Porn'n Chicken. It's all very exciting as you can no doubt tell by the exclamation point ending this sentence!

By the by, using the word "stationed" makes me sound more professional, like I'm a peace keeper working for the U.N. Well, that's an exaggeration. Our accommodations are slightly better than that of a U.N. peace keeper's accommodations. For example, we have two buckets in which to defecate in. One for pee and one for poop. U.N. peace keepers usually only have one. Score for us.

So, I'm doing my best to spice things up in the intern dungeon, spiffy up the decorum a bit. I've added two windows to the room. One window has a view that is nice. One window has a view that is mediocre at best. But both are drawn on pieces of paper and taped to the wall.

Now, you probably want to know why I drew one window with a view that is mediocre at best, when I could have drawn them all having fantastic views. But think about that. As a realist, I know that our world isn't made up of fantastic views. Would you want to look out into your paper-window world everyday knowing that it was just one big lie?

Maybe you choose to draw paper-window worlds where people live in harmony and bathe in butterscotch waterfalls; you're quite welcome to do so. But you know what happens in my paper-window world? Babies cry, friend. That's right. Think about that while you choke down your butterscotch waterfalls.

See you Friday!

Thursday, January 13, 2005

The First Few Days...

So, welcome. I'm at the office right now. So far, I've just been watching Chappelle's Show episodes. Every episode, to be exact. Yes, I'll be writing episode guides for each and every episode. Fun? You bet.

But it isn't all fun and games. Okay, well that's not true -- there has been a lot of fun, and we just finished playing office dodgeball. My face is sore. So... I guess I lied. Sorry about that. I don't want to start off my blog with dishonesty. It's just not who I am. Raping and pillaging, maybe, but dishonesty? No, sir.